Category: Singles Spit Swap
just a question? Where have all the true, kind, loyal, patient, sensative, romantic, respectfull, straight gentlemen gone. What happened to old fashon values. Holding the door, pulling out a lady's chair, calling when they say they will, caring enough to have a hot meal on the table for yor partner after he-she has had a hard day,but most of all, loving and standing by one another when the road gets rough? Call me sappy, but i am beginning to fear that such a man no longer exist. Go on, have a good chuckle but this seems to be the sad truth these days.
Yep, it's true. Society has evolved. We men are assholes and women are much the same. That's what you get when you ask for equality. Okay, there's an exception to just about everything in life, you just gotta find it. Good luck... hahaha
roflmao stevo. i admit, most of the guys these dys don't act in the old fashioned gentle menly manner, but there are nice guys out there. and anyway, i think girls these days act the same way as the guys, so ... even though i'm a girl, i have to say that the guys and the girls these days are exactly the same, basically. So, it's not fair to the guys to ask this question and not answer it ourselves, rofl
this question applied to both sexes, and, i certainly am aware that women can also be hateful as well. Seeing as i am of the female persuasion, i thought i'd ask the opposit sex. It wasn't meant to be offensive, just a probing question. Asking for equality doesn't mean one should, or asks to be treated with anything less than the utmost respect by both partners.
its equality till the opposite sex decide they want something how they want it.
as stated i could ask the same about respectful and polite girls. you can find all your needs if looking correctly. i think the term is you get what you give.
merci beaucoup
true enough
I admit, I do sometimes wonder where genuine love has gone, the kind that stays around over the long-term, for a lifetime. However, I have to admit, I don't like the old-fashioned chivalry. Yes, I like a guy who does nice things for me, but I like to do them for him, too. I don't want a guy to always feel he has to pay for my dinner, hold a door for me, pull out my chair, etc. I'm a grown woman, not a baby, not a china doll that will break. If he wants to do those things for me sometimes, that's great, that's respect and courtesy for someone you love. So long as I get to occasionally pay for his dinner, hold doors, pull out chairs, and such things for him, too. I want, (and have, I should add), a guy who treats me well, as I treat him. but that really old-fashioned gentleman chivalry does drive me batty.
I remember when I was a little girl and lived with my mom and grandmother, my grandmother had a gentleman friend who was very polite and chivalrous in the old fashioned ways you read about. He stood when a woman walked into the room (even for me and I wasn't a woman yet), he held doors and chairs, he never swore in front of women, and I even saw him give a little bow to my grandmother as he left the room once. I don't think we can really expect those kinds of manners to endure in today's world, but it was nice seeing it just once. Today, we feel lucky if a guy turns off his cell phone and devotes all his attention to us when we are in his presence. I'm not really sure that's progress.
that's a great story. I certaintly would not expect my partner to wait on me hand and foot, infact, one of the things i have enjoyed most is doing little things. After all, it is the small stuff that matters. I think there has to be a balance on both sides,a sort of mutual understanding, admiration, and respect for and of one another.
See Becky, it's folks like your Grandmother's friend that would drive me crazy. *Smile* I think I'm glad that extreme of manners hasn't endured today.
Well he was rare I'm sure. I don't remember any other people of his age acting that way. I think manners like that disappeared back in the early 1900's. It just seems to be that manners get worse with each generation. I don't think parents even bother teaching kids manners and respect for others anymore.
hi there,
i think i'm a nice m male,and like doing things for my female relation that i'm with.
i like to give flowers,candy,and all those other things,but also think a female should do the same as well.
i treat all women like they should be,and never harm them at all.
so td if yur interested in find one like me just send mme a pm in my mailbox.
have a nice one.
hugs,
tony aka frosted flakes
women expect guys to do so much for them. why don't you do this. why haven't you done that. you should have done this for me. could you please do that for me? But when it comes to what do women do for us, there's a huge pause. um? ... ... ...it seems that a lot of women out there expect a lot of things to be 1 sided, or at least in my experience. We men are expected to do do do. a lot of women just seem to feel that it's alright to just sit back and just take take take.
As previously stated, that is just my experience.
Cam
cam, there are those out there who will happily give more than they take from there partners. I understand what it is to have a partner take and take, and give next to nothing. It makes for an unhappy and turbulent relationship. One may bend over backwards and sieways for there partners,and, the unfortunate aspect is, nothing one does, or says, will ever be good enough for thos who think only of themselves.
tony, aka frosted flakes, i am sure you will find a good woman, but, i don't think it's going to be me. I have spoken to you, and i feel we are not intellectually matched, but the offer was sweet.
keep looking there out there. mmm, i have found mine.
Cam, it's not only women who take and take. I've dated men who are that way too.
yes, there are also men who give an inch, and take ten thousand miles.
I am the modern day cupid, and I just want to say one thing. This ain't no movie.
leave it to you to bust my bubble! Jkjkjk why is it that if a woman wants true romance she generally must look to the movies?
Hmm, well, I'll say this, I'm not perfect, but I try to be this sort of guy. Call it what you will, but its how I am.
i'm still here, a gentleman. it doesn't take much to be romantic and careing. the macho stuff is a pile of crap
This doesn't happen often (grin) but I'd have to agree with you there myriad. You could teach a lot of guys about being caring, loving, a gentleman and of course most importantly, genuine! What you see is what you get (hugs). Mind you, you still know your place lol.
Well, personaly, I agree with Sister dawn. We should all treat each other with repsect, and ti's not fair to demand that men treat us any differently. We are, after all, people, not genders. I as a person am not defined by my gender. Therefore, I should be treated with respect because I am a person, not because I am a woman.
I, likewise, will treat people the same to the best of my ability. Society, imo, has divided us into genders to such a point where one is unable to be a whole person apart from their gender. In other words, gender and personhood/individuality, apart from the sanctitiy of life debate, are virtually inseparable. Just IMO, though.
You know, I just read the post above, and I'd greatly appreciate if everyone, both guys and girls, would be just people nad genuine people for that matter. I'm not sure if this has got anything to do with it, but being blind allows oen to meet a whole ton of people and see them in a different light. Many, I've found, are almost afraid to be themselves around me, or is it just that they act differently around others for fear of ridicule, I don't know. Regardless, genuine people are a treasure to be held onto.
well tear drop quite honestly I am a true gentlemen but I can tell you where we have gone...guys like me are becoming extinct because we get hurt so much that we stop wanting to love. we live in a day and age were nice guys finish last were women pass up on the guy who cooks breakfast in bed and sends flowers just because and holds doors and pulls out chairs. the end up going for the "bad boy" type of guy or think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence instead of being quite satisfied with what they have in a guy
I think some people can take the nice guy thing and really go over-the-top with it. I've never been macho or the bad boy abusive jerk type, because I suppose I'd be called a geek or nerd or dweeb and was just never into all that macho goings-on. But also I was never into all the stuff with the flowers and the pandering and pampering. The problem with singlehood is people many times don't really know what they really want. They think they want what other people want or what they're told they're supposed to want. But like one or two posters above, I think people fear being themselves out of fear of rejection if they dare expose any sort of flaw. So much of being single is marketted to be all about perfection, when humans aren't even designed to be perfect. No, one should never settle for a jerk or abuser, but I think a lot of people think all the stuff with the flowers every day and the poetry reading and serenading is just corny and over-the-top. Be nice, respect your man or lady, not because of their gender but because they're a fellow human, and be yourself flaws and all, and you might be surprised. I'm in a very happy relationship now and will be for the rest of my life, and all I did was be myself.
Well,
Wow, after reading all of this I'm kind of flustered on what to say lol. I've been in both good and bad relationships and I know that there are still nice guys out there. It's just hard to find them, but I'm sure it's hard for nice guys to find nice girls to. I'm dating a nice guy right now, so I know they're still out there. Once I was the kind of girl who wanted the true gentlemen. Pulling out chairs and all that. It kind of got a little old after a while. I think those things should be saved for special things like when you go out together or do something incredible together. I read this one website on the top 100 rromantic things to do with you're significant other and it was wonderful. The problem is, being blind. I can't drive out to a lake and have a picnic or find a clock tower and kiss on each bong until midnight arrives, but I'd love to do it. I guess I've been reading too many books lol. But anyway, I think as long as you have teamwork, and good communication, and respect, then relationship will go well. That's especially if you have a nice guy to. There's nothing like telling your deepest and most private thoughts to someone and sharing things, and them telling you things back. Or when doing physical things like pleasuring each other, saying I love you while you do it. That just makes it all the better. So anyway, i really hope you find what you're looking for, but just be careful and don't put your standards too high. I guess I did that once, and now I know what kind of person I'm looking for. You just learn through the relationships you go through. But maybe a thing to do is write down all the things you'd like in someone? And when you meet someone, try to have him write a list to I guess. It's just a suggestion, I don't think it'll work for everyone, but it's just something to think about. Nobody is perfect, I know that. There will never be a such thing as a perfect person in this world, and I'm ok with that. Just enjoy life and live it. But just take your time and get to know the person very well, and you'll know if it feels right. So take care and good luck.
Update
I've found my gentlemen. lol. *smile*
All the good gentlemen out there are either married or gay! lmfao
no, but seriously, I think that I would absolutely go crazy if my man was too gentlemanly! mmm, i love a little manlyness, too! ug, don't think i could stand too sensative guys, but, also can't stand men who aren't sensative neither! blah, it's all about balance! and i suppose it goes both ways
o yeah, congrats, teardrop on finding your gentleman!
Yes! Congradulations! Now we just need the details if you'd like to share? Grins jk. Only if you'd like to.But seriously, I hope it works out for you and I'm so glad you found him after all.
Angela
*smile* His name is george.
everything is nothing but give and take, in this world, in my opinion.
give one and get back in multiples.
Raaj.
Kia's right. its all about a balance. Not so sensative he's not manly. but not someone who doesn't give a care because he thinks he's to manly to care. a nice inbetween.
just to let you know I am a single and am true, kind, loyal, patient, sensative, romantic, respectfull, straight gentlemen. Were not all gone theres still a few of us left but hurry and get one while you can were getting swept up.
Funny you see all the girls looking for so called gentlemen, but you know, they get bored of that, and usually you see them with the bad guys.
as mentioned in an earlier post by Rissa, Women want someone in between. A gentleman/bad boy kind of thing, I guess.
Hmm this is interesting, having grown up through the 1980s when one could get a round feminist slap or kick for holding open doors and such, that was after all, sexist. So men try and accomodate by making things equal and then the other side don't like it .... well for those of us old enough to remember, sorry but when you ring it up at the register, that's what you walk out the door with ...
That being said, I like to wait on my wife, not just 'any woman' and I do things for her that I would never do for a stranger because she is special. I am admittedly a romantic in my personal relationships.
However, bear in mind that chivalry was intended, much as the granting of Samurai status for the inu in Japan, as a sort of fake status without real buying power. Is that what you want? I mean really? Because as I frequently tell my daughter you can't cut it both ways.
And really, c'mon, how special would you feel if you knew a guy opened the doors for just any woman, and not for who she really was but because she's a woman and ... fill in the blanks that go with that ... as I said you don't ever get to cut it both ways in life.
I don't expect to get punched anymore for holding open a door, but I'm not a queer for holding it open for a guy; especially if whoever's there has what sounds like an armload. I'm just suggesting that none of us, men women blind sighted gay straight whatever, get to cut it both ways. Especially if you want to be respected.
I was working in a community situation where a woman of southern origin, raised in aristocracy and treated like a princess. There was a grill fire, and every one of us was running around dealing with the situation. Every one except her. Nobody asked her to do anything. Later, she asked a bit sadly, "Why didn't you ask me to help?" Well a frank question earns a frank answer so I told her: "Nobody goes to the princess for help. You either be princess or be one of the rest of us." She'd never heard that one before, but we blind people know it's true. If we're all dependent and such, who's gonna trust us to throw down and handle a situation when it comes up? People gravitate towards people who are self-sufficient and not just flimsy.
So if you want all the outward appearances of respect, everyone doing stuff for you, all that, great. But don't be surprised when you're last in line for expertise or people ask for your opinion out of politeness. These 'gentlemen' would even order your food for you, how about that?
Not sayin' that jerkish behavior should be tolerated; chivalry wouldn't fix that, it'd just mean he's staring at the secretary's ass. Common courtesy might fix it though: that and a genuine appreciation of *you* and not just some idea of a 'lady'. We should be able to convert said ideas into cyber reality pretty soon with robots after all, the Japanese are well on their way.
You're right, women want a gentleman to her, to some extent, a gentleman, but not a pushover / cupcake
Where have all the gentlemen gone, long time passing. Well, although I am an old fassioned individual and a gentlemen myself, it is my belief that the boarderline between a Lady and a Gentlemen have become so blurred in todays world that we are slowly losing our identity. If you hold open a door you might get slapped in the face for assuming the woman beside you couldn't open it for herself, now that is a slight exaderation but somewhat true in itself. People have begun to do too much to be too much and overall to lose that sense of identity that was once theirs. A wife doesn't stay at home and look after the kids, a husband doesn't bring in the bread. I am not against the changes it is just that in todays world we no longer have clearly defined positions and duties. But as to you who seek the true gentlemen, look closely and you will find them hidden deep in the nature of many men around you. It has often been said that any male can be a man, once grown and likewise any female can be a woman. It takes special people with gentility to be a gentleman and with grace to be a lady. PS, pardon my bad typing and good night to you all. Hope you find that gentlemen out there somewhere. FlamingDragon
well I think if you find the right one, they'll come along someday. You just have to keep on looking.
Ok first congrads teardrop. Second yeah it's all about balance. I want a guy that can be a gentleman, but like Kia said not too much of one. :) Many guys and girls today have no manners what so ever... It sickens me.
Where have all the true, kind, loyal, patient, sensative, romantic, respectfull, straight gentlemen gone. They have gotten lost in the crowd of not so gentlemen. We are still out there trying to find that right women that wont change us
I actually feel awkward around the really proper type people. I feel much better around someone who burps at the table, either swears in front of everyone, or doesn't swear at all, and who treats me like a fellow human, not a China doll, as sister dawn said earlier.
Yes, I appreciate when people listen to me if I'm upset, or need to vent, but I would also do the same for them, guy or girl. I don't expect the door to be held for me. In fact, I often hold the door for others. If the proper and formal life style floats your boat, then go right ahead, but it's not me, and I wouldn't expect it of anyone else, thank you very much.
as I read, I think the guys and the girls are the same these days. I do however miss the old fashioned style that used to have success, but I am sure we can all find what we are looking for.